thoughts…. i bet you’ve all missed this
I feel like I’m slowly losing grasp of my sense of reality.
it’s really starting to scare me how fast this year has gone by… and how wrong all of it feels now. this time, last year, was the turning point of my sophomore year, and in a way, my life. I was making new friends and talking to new people, the school year was coming to an end, and I couldn’t be happier. life felt so right.
now, things are so different. it’s hard to explain, but I kind of feel like life has taken off without me. like the day changes and time moves on endlessly, but my mind is still stuck in the past. like my body is in this life and my mind is in another life. this feels SO incredibly wrong. the worst part of it all, is I feel stuck. I really, really, REALLY want to get out of this mindset, but I’ve tried so many things, and it feels impossible. what really scares me is the thought of getting on meds for this. I don’t want to be dependent on drugs to feel normal. for some reason, that idea scares the living shit out of me. but the thing is, I really don’t know what else to do. and I need to do something quick, because I seriously don’t know how much longer I can stand living like this. :~\
so overall, I suppose it’s been a pretty nice week. hooray
so basically, I keep wanting to post long-ass text post about my life and all my emotions and whatnot, but then I remember that THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA BECAUSE THIS IS THE INTERNET AND EVERYONE CAN READ WHAT I WRITE
I really wish tumblr was how it was two years ago and not a person from my school knew that it existed
so I guess I’m gonna go cope by stuffing myself with some microwaved fettuccine alfredo leftovers